


All You Need Is Love (And a Way Off the Planet Before It Explodes)

by EldritchSandwich



Series: Saint Latoya [3]
Category: Saints Row
Genre: Aliens, F/F, Fluffy Sandwich, Happy Ending, Interspecies Romance, Saints Row IV, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-16 09:15:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14808491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EldritchSandwich/pseuds/EldritchSandwich
Summary: Former Third Street Saint Latoya Brown is just settling into her new life a Secret Service agent when her life takes a turn that even she couldn't have predicted.





	All You Need Is Love (And a Way Off the Planet Before It Explodes)

Latoya Brown smoothed out her jacket with a frown. Let no one say that a girl from the Stilwater ghetto ending up in the Secret Service wasn't completely fucking badass, or that she wasn't grateful that she just happened to hang around with a psycho gangland celebrity who just happened to end up the President of the United States somehow, but...well a part of her did miss the old days: cruising around Stilwater or Steelport, kickin' it with her homies, beating the shit out of people without having to worry about the political repercussions, and wearing...well, literally anything other than a black pantsuit every Goddamn day.

She wasn't on the Presidential detail, though the Boss—sorry, the President—did call a bunch of them in to get drunk some nights, just like the old days. Things could have been worse; she had not just a steady job but a respectable one, her girlfriend Carrie was working as the kind of high-class DC escort who specialized in congressmen and lobbyists and was making money hand over fist, their Georgetown apartment cost more than an entire city block back in Sunnyvale, they were thinking about getting a dog...yeah, life was okay.

She just wished it wasn't so fucking boring.

"Agent Brown, this is the main gate, please respond, over."

Latoya sighed and tapped her earpiece. "This is Brown. What is it, over?"

"There's someone here asking for you. Small Asian woman, ID reads Caridad Corazon. She became combative when asked to wait, we've got her at the security checkpoint. Over."

Latoya winced. "I'll, uh, be right there. Over."

She turned toward the other agent guarding the other side of the door to the Presidential Peep Show. He was one of the short haircuts who came with the house. "Agent, uh...Johnson? Hold down the fort, they need me at the gate."

Agent Apparently-Johnson just nodded, and Latoya hurried outside and down toward the main gate. She didn't know what the hell Carrie was doing here, but the press conference was about to start and she did not have time. She planned to tell her girlfriend that, but when she reached the security booth and saw the look on Carrie's face she stopped short.

Carrie stood up, Latoya waving the gate guard off as her girlfriend dove into her arms. "Oh thank god! Come on, we have to go!"

Latoya blinked. "Go? What, go where? Baby, I'm working..."

"There's no time!" Carrie pulled back, grabbing Latoya's hand and trying to bodily pull her out into the road. "We have to get away from the White House!"

Latoya stumbled as her girlfriend tugged her outside. "Baby, what the fuck are you talking about? You're acting—"

Whatever Carrie was acting, it was drowned out by the security station exploding behind them. Latoya shrieked as the impact threw her forward onto Carrie, the two of them rolling across the pavement as the flaming ruins of the gates and the guard station flared behind them. Latoya heard a low whine and looked to the sky just in time to see a jagged black and red shape settle above the briefing room, a blast of red light tearing off the roof with a thunderous explosion. She turned back to Carrie, who looked terrified, but not confused.

"What the fuck is going on?"

"It's the Zin! I just got the alert, the Zin have claimed this planet for their own. You...you have to come with me."

Latoya shook her head. "Whoa, slow down! What the fuck is a Zin?"

There was another red flash of light, and suddenly a spiky, lumpy, humanoid...thing was standing in the middle of the driveway, some kind of big silver rifle pointing up at them as Carrie shrieked and took cover behind her girlfriend.

"Die, human warrior! For the glory of the—"

The top of the thing's head disappeared in a spray of bone and goo, and as Latyoa returned her gun to its shoulder holster she turned back to Carrie. "What the fuck is going on?"

Carrie winced. "There's no time. Just take my hand, please!" Latoya reached out to grab her girlfriend's hand, only belatedly noticing that it was glowing blue. Carrie looked like she was about to cry. "I'm so sorry." Before Latoya could ask for what, she was enveloped by a blinding flash of blue light....then nothing.

* * *

Latoya regained consciousness with a snort. She was lying on the floor of...wherever they were. Latoya didn't know where that was, except that it was cramped and metal and a mix of silver and pink. Her head was spinning, and she didn't resist as Carrie guided her down to sit on some kind of metal projection sticking out of the wall.

"It's okay, just sit still. Sorry, you've been out for a while; it can be disorienting, especially the first time."

Latoya shook her head. Disorienting was a fucking understatement. She looked out the window across from them, the night sky blinking away...had she been out that long? Wait, no, that wasn't...as the chunks of floating rock and the swarms of black and red ships made themselves known, Latoya leaned forward. "Wait. Is...is that...where's Earth?" Carrie bit her lip as Latoya looked up at her beseechingly. "Baby, what...what the fuck is going on?"

Carrie winced. "Please don't be mad. But the thing is...I've sort of been...lying to you. About everything. Ever since we met."

Latoya just blinked. "What?"

Carrie took a deep breath. "Well, for starters...I'm not a hooker."

"Right, you're an escort now—"

"No, I mean I'm not a sex worker, I..." Carrie sighed. "I'm...an anthropologist. From the University of Mord. Engaged in a long-term study of human sexuality."

Latoya shook her head. "What do you mean by 'long-term'?"

Carrie grimaced. "Like...the entire span of a human lifetime?"

Latoya frowned, That was twice now. "And what do you mean by...'human'..."

Carrie flinched. "My...my name's not Caridad Corazon. It's Zarafirasadayat. And I'm not...exactly...human."

Latoya just watched, too overwhelmed to react, as Carrie reached up for her necklace, the one that she'd said was a present from her grandmother and that she never took off. With a squeeze of the little pearlescent pendant a wave of rippling blue light washed over her, and Latoya's eyes went wide as her skin turned bright pink in its wake. As the wave reached her head, her hair shimmered away and delicate, feathery antennae sprouted from her forehead. Carrie's eyes, now solid pools of black, turned down to face her, still-familiar lips pursed nervously.

"You're...you're an...you're an alien."

Carrie—Zarafarasoda, whatever—lowered her head. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. When I got a grant to study the sexual behavior of humans, I thought it would just be a simple sociological survey." The alien bit her lip. "But the thing is...human sex is so fucking amazing! Like you have no idea! Multiple orgasms! BDSM!" She leaned forward excitedly, dark eyes shining. "Did you know humans are the only civilization in the galaxy to invent oral? Well, the only extant civilization, we have ancient artwork from this race called the Jarga, but until we saw a human giving a blowjob we didn't know what it was. We thought it was some kind of medical procedure and...that's not the point!" Latoya shook her head, edging back in her seat as the pink alien dropped to her knees, her hands rising up to take Latoya's. "The point is...I like humans. I met people I like, I met you, and I sort of maybe...fell in love."

Latoya swallowed. "You're...you're an alien." Said alien winced. "But...you're in love with me?"

She nodded. "And when I got the alert that the Zin were going to come to Earth, I...I panicked. The Zin take the smartest and the strongest from the races they conquer and brainwash them to serve the Empire, then they destroy the planet to prevent retaliation. And I didn't want to lose you."

Latoya frowned. "Where are we?"

"My ship. It's been sitting in orbit, cloaked, waiting for me to finish my work. But now that the Zin are here..." She shook her head. "I'm sorry I couldn't save anyone else. There wasn't time, the ship isn't big enough, I...I'm so sorry..."

As the alien's shoulders started to shake, Latoya could only study her face. Even with antennae and pink skin and no nose, she was still beautiful, still...Carrie. Her breath hitched when Latoya stood up and pulled her into an embrace. They stayed like that until her breathing slowed, then Latoya pulled back, unable to stop herself from running her thumb across the pink alien's smooth cheek. "Look, Zara...fire...sapphire, sorry, I..."

She giggled. "Call me Zara."

"Zara. I...what am I supposed to...what do we do now?"

"I...I have to go back to Mord. My old life in academia." Zara glanced up shyly. "You could...come with me. If you wanted."

Latoya frowned. "Are you sure? That wouldn't...I don't know, get you in trouble?"

Zara smiled brightly. "Hardly! Once my research is published you'll be a celebrity." Her smile turned sly. "That is, as long as you don't mind females of my species lining up at our door to have us show them how to play with each other..."

As the reality of the situation settled over her, Latoya's pensive expression gave way to a grin. This new life might be weird and unexpected and certainly nothing she ever could have imagined when she was a little girl growing up in the projects of Stilwater—or even a couple hours ago—but if an entire species of hot alien chicks desperately needed her to teach them the joys of lesbian sex, well...she supposed that wasn't the worst life she could think of.

"Well, I guess I can live with that." She pulled Zara in for a kiss.

Besides, if nothing else it meant she sure as hell wouldn't have to wear a pantsuit again any time soon.


End file.
